"Wait dad, i am comming"! I ran down the stair's but found the door shut. I kicked myself for taking so long to bathe. "I am leaving, close the door nani". "Where are you off to, you barely got cleaned up after several hour's of playing Holi, don't you get tired Ayesha? Besides there are going to be alot of hooligans on the road," nani screamed in the background. I barely heard her and raced out of the door in hope to find dad mid-way.

I was so happy that evening as i ambled towards the park, humming my favourite song. I felt extra excited as i was wearing my new bright yello t-shirt my momee got me for doing well in mid term exams. I was a few seconds away from the park and BOOM !!! Blackout !!! The next thing i know, i am crying out for help. There is not a soul on the street. No women in the balconies, no children playing on the steet, no car's moving, none of the old grandparents strolling on the road. I could barely open my eyes. The blood poured out of my head like a fountain, blinding my vision. I tried to rub it off but it didn't stop. As i tried to suck some of the blood in my mouth to be able to shout out for help i realise i could barely talk as the side of my lip tore into two. Despite the excruting pain, i got up which seemed like an impossible task at that moment. Considering, there was nobody in sight i decide to help myself. Just then, a blue santro stopped but seeing my state the man inside was left aghast. With little option left, i opened the door's of the car and requested the gentleman to take me home. Am i putting myself in further risk by sitting in a stranger's car? All those numerous times when my mother had asked me to be alert and vigilent in the company of stranger's, i had listened to her carefully, all ear's. But today this stranger was my only hope.

Even before the car reached the big black gate of my house, the same gate i had left so happily just a few miniutes ago, not forseeing i would be back just miniutes later, covered not with the bright red Holi colour but drenced with my own warm blood. Don't know where i got the strength from but the thought that my mother would be around now, i felt comforted. I screamed, perhaps a little too loudly for her to know my pain. She came. I expected her to howl, or cry, or worse - Faint. I know how much my mother loves me. To be precise, she lives for me. At that point in time, i couldn't have seen her falling apart. But i should have known my mother better. I realised that day she is made of steel. She looked at me, i saw her frightened but that was it. "Baby, dont worry", she said as she hugged me tight. "We will take you to the best doctor". I felt reassured.

But not for to long. The doctor at a hospital near our house told us they couldn't do anything for me as the cut on my forehead was way to deep for them to treat it. That ment something serious had happened. Sounds silly now, but for a second i questioned myself on weather i would ever be fine again. Even before i could give myself an answer, i was being taken to a bigger hospital. It being Holi day, the usuall doctor's weren't around. Thankgod for these big fancy hospitals, and there emergency services. By then my face was numb. I felt as if i never had a nose or a set of lips.

You know how it is sometimes when even without saying anything, people can scare the living day lights out of you. "We will need to get a CT scan to see if there is any kind of internal bleeding" said the doctor. I was like "What? Why? No ways, I am perfectly fine". Next thing i know the wheel chair carried me to the CT scan room, that lonely quiet room where i could hear myself breath loud and clear. As the machine began to dragg me inside itssef, i jurked to see if my mother was looking, but she couldn't have, the doors had no windows. I had to do this myself. I have never prayed so hard. All i wanted were the reports to be normal. What if in sometime i became mentally imbalanced or lost myself, or developed a handicapp? I rememberd all those times i had taken life for granted, and had fussed over little, mundane irrelevent things in life. I had so much. Too much to appreciate.

"The report's will come only in the morning, in the meanwhile we'll stitch her up". "Great, so that means i am spending the night here". "Not here," said the doctor. We have to shift you to the ICU and monitor your condition. I can confidently say that was the fianl blow. It was one place i never wanted to go, let alone so early in life. It was a place i associated with sick dying people. Soon i needed to go to the bathroom but that wasen't possible seeing my critical state. My worst nightmare-using a bed pan. I was completely and utterly startled when the nurse began to strip me, that too without my permission. I understand a patient has to wear different kind of clothes in an ICU but i hadn't imagine it would be done in full public view - well almost. I had little choice in the matter. I didn't go to the bathroom hense forth due to obvious reasons.

It was almost 1 in the night, as the attendent put me on a bed between two terribaly sick patients. One had suffered a liver failure and the other old gentleman had had a heart stroke if i am not wrong. I looked at the both of them and prayed to God to make all three of us fine by morning. Some where down my heart i knew i was being unrealistic but i couldn't have possibaly paryed just for myself knowing fully well the other two were on the verge of death and had families who would be devastated if something were to happen.

At 2 the ENT specialist came in. Ohh Man, i have yet to come across a worse doctor. I rarely curse anybody but that women has been the reciepient of several of my curses since that day. Apprently, becides my tooth i had also broken my nose. Oouch !! I agree, there will be pain involved in straightenig it up but hellooo !!! Like you dont shove a one foot surgical sizzor into somebody's nose. It's not excatly the most comfortable thing on earth you see, so i am bound to resist.

Anyways, the pain was allready unbearable but what made it worse was my mothers absence. She wasen't allowed into the ICU. Only mother's of young children are. That's crazy. I am a child to, and at that point a vulnerable one. I wanted to cry out loud but that wasen't a luxury i could enjoy as the coldhearted doctort warned me not to. If i did, the colossal bandage would role itself out and cause me more misery than i had ever imagined. I had never felt so lonely.

I waited impatiently for the clock to tick 9. That's when i would be able to see my mother. 10 more minutes to go. For the first time in almost 15 hour's i tried to smile but obviously could not as my lips were stitched. As she come in i din't care anymore about the dam cotton roll. Let it come out for all i care i told my self. She held back her tear's only till i held back mine. It's as though we are still joined by an invisible umbilical cord.

Thankgod, i was shifted to a regular room soon after. For the next couple of days i failed to recognise myself as my colour had changed to purple. Sounds funny but at that time it was scary. I looked like a small ghost. I went home in two days but the nightmare didn't end there. I couldn't talk, could barely breadth, thanks to the humongous cotton roll inside of my small nose, Remember !!!!!

A year later, i have come out of it a much more thankfull, greatfull and appreciative human being. There is so much to be thankfull for, so much to be greatful for, so much to rejoice, so much to discover, so much to look for, so many questions to be answered, so many special times to be remembered, so much to forgive, so much love, so much to give. Why do we get stuck on one negative experience? Not worth it. Believe me !!

He' l be here any moment. The girl's flock around the door, adjust their heels, straighten their dresses, make their hair, Smoother some extra gloss for that perfect shine. A few of us chuckle with excitement. My friend whispers "Do you think he'll come at all". I reassure her "of course he will, now stop acting silly and straighten up." As i am about to clean her smudged kajal, she jumps and shrieks "Ranbir- look he's here." The next thing i know, i m left all alone in one quite lonely corner of the room with my eyes wide open staring at my friend who conveniently refused to recognise my presence for the next 60 seconds.

"Tanya, come right back. You are all over him". But I should have known she was tirelessly lost in pursuit of grabbing his attention. Hoping no body would notice, I walked towards her to remind her we were here for work. I could see my boss brisk walking from a distance towards the conference room. I had a sinking feeling. In my heart i knew she was coming to see if Tanya and i had taken our place next to the podium to make sure all guests had settled down.

The press was ready, all cameras glaring towards the door which would open anytime now. The mikes had been tested, the guests had settled down. I couldn't help but walk towards Tanya and physically pull her away from the man who could get us fired, even without any direct fault of his. But Tanya was head over heels over him. What made it worse was that Ranbir agreed to sign her an autograph. What happened next was unprecedented. As the both of them got ready to strike a pose, Tanya sighed and fainted right there. OH MY GOD, THE UNBELIEVABLE HAD HAPPENED. I didn't know where to run. Towards Tanya or out of the roor. Just then i heard my boss calling for help. I sprinted towards Tanya, picked her up and dragged her to one side. By then she was being attended my the medical staff. I apologise profusely but no body was really interested.

I could hear loud cheers from the other room. The conference was obviously going well but my focus at that point in time was my friend. Finally, what seemed like a thousand hour's, she jerked and got up. Any guesses on what she said the moment her little innocent eyes opened. "Is Ranbir still here?" Every fiber of my being just wanted to forget this day ever was and to start afresh. Only this time i would have made sure to hold Tanya tight when she drifted away from my grip. Was she for real? I guess i couldn't hide my bewildered expressions when Ranbir Kapoor walked through the doors once again to make this way out of the session. Thankfully, this time around, Tanya behaved herself and kept out of his way.

"Can i know where i can find Miss Tanya Sarin," i hered somebody say from the back. I turned around and decided it best to take it on from there. "Yes, tell me, she isn't around". "Mr. Kapoor has sent this for Tanya". I opened the envelope. It read "Dear Tanya, I hope you're feeling better. I feel overwhelmed by the love and adulation my well wishers shower me with. Sorry for what happened today. You must take care of yourself. Best of Luck for you life. Love Ranbir."

I rushed towards the women's room. "Tanya, look what I've got here in my hand baby." She ambled towards me. I gave it to her. I never expected it would mean so much to her. Yes i always knew she adored Ranbir but i ignored all her cries to hope to meet the man of her dreams one day. If she had her way she would have proposed him right there in then. She clung on to the letter like a mother clings to her child. If i am not wrong, she read it out loud not less than 56 times to be precise. I was happy for her.

How surreal the experience must have been for her. Maybe that's why she passed out. I looked at the watch. It was past twelve. In another half an hour we were reached home. Later, i called her to check if she was doing ok. Should have known nothing could go wrong anymore. I left it at that.

Some people refuse to grow up. When I see adults behaving like juveniles, it makes me want to strangle them to death. Fortunately, I try not to focus on such fools but they aren't invisible exactly so in most cases I have no choice but to make small talk. If there's something i realised fairly early in life, it is the the complexities surrounding human behaviour. Not to say, there aren't nice people around. There are, in fact just this morning a young guy offered his seat to me in the merto. I am talking about the millions and millions of lousy people, displaying annoyingly abhorrent behaviour. I don't really blame them. I blame there mother's who should have made sure to instill some sense of integrity, and candor in them. It's so easy to bitch, so difficult to appreciate. Not true. There are traits of good and bad in each one of us. It's what you focus on. I absolutely despise certain people in my life still i find it surprisingly easy to compliment them genuinely. It's not rocket scient believe me. All we need to do is lift the veil of pretense and try and be honest to ourselves for once.

175 million children will be affected by global climate change.

A new report suggests that 175 million children will be affected every year by frequent natural disasters caused due to climate change. Painting a grim future, a report by child rights NGO Save the Children said climate change was the biggest global health threat to children that could increase risk of deaths due to diarrhoea, malnutrition, malaria and other diseases because of reduced community access to clean water, nutritious food and hygienic surroundings. (The Times of India)

My journey begin's ....

I am excited ! I am sure this is going to be fun. How painfull can writting without any restrictions be? I hope to find likeminded people on the way. Ofcorse there will be times when some of you might agree or disagree with me but that's oke. All opinion's are welcome.